100 Ways to Annoy your Marching Band Director
by Multi-Shipper Girl
Summary: ONE-SHOT: The title is pretty self explanitory so there is no need for a summary


**Title:** One Hundred Ways to Annoy Your Marching Band Director  
**Author:** Multi Shipper Girl  
**Summary:** The title is pretty self explanitory so there is no need for a summary  
**Author's Note:** Yes, I'm in the marching band so I have experiences about it. I'm not sure about you, but we're not allowed to have cellphones only after practice and if we have them out, they will confiscate them. If we come late with no excuse, we have to run a lap, not all of us, just that particular person. When the band is playing their music wrong, my director flips out and makes them run a lap. For number eleven, they always get mad if we do that and keep telling us to hurry up and "run like bunnies" (don't ask why they say that) and they get really mad at number fourteen. I got number seventeen from the movie Drumline. For eighteen, I'm not sure about you, but we get one of those. For number sixty, we are only allowed to watch G and PG rated movies. Sometimes he gets annoyed at fifty nine after they play it twice. We actually had to do that for sixty one. For number sixty nine, we're not allowed to wear flip flops, bikinis, and tanktops. Seventy, my band director is fat so I sometimes think of that. Number eighty two is true because he does plays the trumpet. For eighty seven we're really not allowed to have iPods.  
But, enough about that for now.  
_Please read and review!_

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1) Come to practice an hour late

2) If you and your director gets in a fight, threaten him that you will quit

3) Play all the notes wrong or WAY out of key

4) Do all of your colorguard routine wrong and be out of sync with the other members

5) Whenever you march, begin to walk with your right foot first instead of your left

6) Flirt with one of the staff members especially if he is at your age

7) Do the drill incorrectly

8) Use your drumsticks as chopsticks for eating Chinese Food

9) Moon him or in front of the judges so he could be humiliated

10) During practice or break use your cellphone to call someone or text

11) When he says go to your set, make sure that you walk there REALLY slow

12) Whenever your marching toward the stadium, say. "Left! Left! Left, right, left!"

13) Wack a random marching band member on the head with your colorguard flag on purpose and say to your band director it was only an 'accident'

14) Walk instead of running a lap

15) During your practice, start dancing instead of marching.

16) Where you see the director's name on the front of his office, scratch it out and replace it with Edward Cullen so all the fangirls will go after him

17) When the marching band is performing a VERY boring song, play 'I Believe I Can Fly'

18) Forget your drill sheet the very next day they were handed out to you

19) Also, remember to forget your uniform on the exact day of your competition. If your band director says call your parents, tell him/her that you don't know your parent's phone number, and if you have a car, take a very long time to get to your house if you can go there

20) When you get a first place trophy smash it. It will not only get the band director annoyed, but also the rest of the entire marching band

21) Force him to play the tuba since no one else in school wants to

22) Assassinate your band member

23) Chew bubble gum as loud as you can and make a really loud pop. If he tells you to stop it, stick it in your hair to save it for later or stick it in someone else's

24) On your way to the stadium, sing the Coconut Song from the Lion King that Zazu sang. If he/she tells you to stop it, keep doing it. During your show, perform Get Low by Lil Jon. People with instruments can play the music and colorguard and pit members can sing the lyrics. After that, walk out of the field

25) During your practice, talk about the most random things to no one or to one of yours friends. Like, "why is the sky blue?" "how did the clouds get all the way up there?" "Is it me, or is it getting really hot?" "marching band is so stupid, I only did this to get some hot dudes/girls"

26) Completely trash the entire band room

27) Steal the band truck

28) Make fun of his new hair. If he doesn't he doesn't have any, get a horrible wig, but say it's the latest fashion

29) When he gives you the new CD for the new theme, change it to some rap and hip hop music with so many swear words

30) When it's break or before band practice starts, begin a conversation that is this: "Remember that one time at band camp..." And be very inappropriate

31) Get lost at a competition

32) When your last competition is at a really big and cool place go somewhere, like, the mall and shop. Mine is at Hershey and I'll probably go to the amusement park

33) Trip him and say. "See you next fall."

34) Suddenly be uncoordinated that you can't walk in a straight line

35) Tell him that you're gay and have emotional feelings for him/her

36) Cut out your music sheet and make it into a snowflake or one of those people thingies. Or if you aren't really that crafted, just doodle on it and make dirty drawings

37) If he has a really long name pronounce it incorrectly. Or if he does not, make fun of it

38) When you're in front of him and his wife, ask him how his SECOND wife is doing

39) Lounge inside his office and watch television constantly flipping channels while eating leaving crumbs on the floor

40) During when you are marching, walk around aimlessly

41) If you have a paper cut from one of your music sheet, complain to him that you should be taken to a hospital immediately before it gets infected. If he refuses, repeatedly beg him

42) Repeat everything he says, but say it out of time, like five seconds behind

43) Stalk him

44) When you're behind him (while he's talking or making an extremely long speech) in front of the entire marching band, make funny faces

45) Mimic EVERYTHING he does

46) Tell him that marching band is a cult

47) Pull a joke on him

48) Complain about he's the worst band director ever so the judges will think about getting a new one

49) When you do something wrong, tell him its opposite day and it's VERY traditional in your family

50) Out of anger, throw candy at him

51) When the band is playing your favorite song, sing the lyrics out loud instead of playing the notes

52) Talk in spanish or any other foreign language and only say that. "Practice makes perfect."

53) You can also talk in British and when you're leaving, call out to him. "Tip, tip. Cheerio. I'm coo coo for Coco Puffs."

54) Make all of other band members bring the equipment to the field and just watch them go by

55) During the competition, don't do anything. Stand perfectly still

56) Don't show for any of band meetings

57) Lay down on the grass when he's talking and start to fall asleep because he's getting really boring

58) Sing the most annoying song that you can think of to him

59) When it's really hot outside, play the traditional Rain Dance

60) Bring a Rated R movie for Band Camp

61) Sing WAY off key when he tells the band to sing at certain parts

62) During Band Camp, collapse and say that you're having a heart attack or an 'episode' because of the constant marching

63) Forget to bring the most important things for Band Camp, like sunscreen, sunglasses, etc.

64) Bring one of those mini pools when it's hot outside

65) Beg him to make breaks longer that won't last five minutes

64) Plot with the other band members and don't play during the whole practice

65) Tell him that you're going to throw a birthday party for him and say that he should be there at seven o' clock. Remind yourself that you and the rest of the members won't show up

66) Play games on his computer

67) Prank call on him change your voice so it can sound like Darth Vadar's

68) Dress up in a disguise and say that you're a foreign exchange student from Sweden or someplace else

69) For Band Camp, where shorts, flip-flops, and a tank top or just a bikini

70) When he's wearing a very, big red shirt yell out to him exclaiming. "Hey, Koolaid!"

71) Make fun of his weight and call him tubby. If he's not fat, and just really skinny, call him string bean

72) When he doesn't find anything amusing, but tries not to smile. Go up to him and say. "You know you want to."

73) Keep saying multiple knock-knock jokes

74) Steal the music sheets and everyone else's

75) Be unprepared when he asks you to bring something

76) Make a prank and throw up, but use clam chowder so it could look more real. If he believes it and sends you home, you're lucky

78) Steal his car

79) After break is over and time to practice, don't show up, go home instead

80) Post flyers at school saying. "Marching band is the worst thing that has ever happened. Don't join!"

81) Write an article in your school's newspaper about how bad your band director is

82) Say to him that he's the worst trumpet player (or whatever instrument he played) ever and pick out a random kid in the band and say that the person sounds better than him

83) Play the cadence wrong when you're out marching on the field and just make up some random tune

84) Completely forget what you're playing and when you're director asks why your forgot, just tell him that you suffer from short-term memory loss

85) Steal ALL of the equipments

86) On the back of his shirt, when he's not looking or noticing, put a sign on him that says. "Wide load."

87) Bring your iPod to competitions

88) Make fun of the other marching bands

89) Walk instead of march

90) Spray paint the lines of the field pink instead of white or make them rainbow colored

91) When you're playing your instrument, play your favorite song instead

92) Constantly ask what are his favorite things and hobbies and wonder why

93) Give him a fashion makeover

94) Tell him that his tie is lame

95) Say to him that he's only THINKING that you're annoying him

96) Date his son/daughter

97) Make him do the Macarena

98) If you use a megaphone during band camp/practices, make a long fart or burp when he's distracted or not paying attention

99) Tell him that he has bad taste in music

100) Also tell him that's he's gonna be famous on fanfiction dot net

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**Author's Note: **This story is meant to be for fun and not to be taken seriously. It's just a fun read. Sorry I have to put this here. I thought it was obvious not to take this seriously. I'm just annoyed that some people do.


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